100+ Hilarious Halloween Jokes

It is legitimately the truth that reading Halloween jokes undoubtedly screams of creativity. In addition, every single joke sustains its own pun which downright breaks us into hysterical laughter.

Realizing the fact that you must’ve been exhausted by the Halloween preparations, I thought of how your state of mind could be relaxed by hilarious jokes.

I have assembled a fair amount of Halloween jokes; comic pictures and questionnaires that will have you chuckling all the way down. Simply scroll down, and prepare yourself for the thrill coming your way.

This article contains:

  1. Comical Halloween Jokes.
  2. One Liner Halloween Jokes.

Halloween Jokes

Comical Halloween Jokes:

To be seemingly honest, I have always had a special corner in my heart for comic jokes. Oh wait, who doesn’t?

Conversely, the pictures were the only part that seemed intriguing, and every inch of the picture was noticed by me for extra details.

If that’s the case for most of you, scroll down, easy and composed, to attain fun out of the comics given below:

Mother and son dispute

Mother and son joke

Mother: “No, you can’t be Charlie Sheen for Halloween!”

Toilet Paper and Poop

Poop and toilet paper joke

The poop guy addressing his friend in tissue paper costume says, “Next Halloween I’m picking out the costumes!”

Big foot joke

Big foot joke

The little boy: “Sorry. Bigfoot or not, only one piece of candy per trick-or-treater.”

Definitive List of Halloween Jokes

Definitive halloween jokes
Q: what is a Vampire’s favourite fruit?
A: Neck-tarines!

“Knock-knock!” Q: Who’s there?
A: Boo
Q: Boo who?
A: Hey don’t cry, it’s just a costume.

Q: What kind of mistake do Ghosts make?
A: Boo-boos!

Q: What two places do ghosts like to go swimming?
A: Lake Erie and the Dead Sea

Q: What do you get when you cross a Vampire’s snowman?
A: Frost bite

Q: What did the guy on twitter give out for Halloweens?
A: Trick or Tweets

Q: What do you call a monster who eats too fast?
A: A Goblin’ goblin.

Q: Who did the monster take out on a Halloween date?
A: His ghoul-friend.

Four Jokes Altogether

Four halloween jokes

What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
A: ‘Do you believe in people?’

What do you call an angry monster?
A: ‘Sir!’

Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
A: ‘No body.’

Why don’t angry witches fly their brooms?
A: ‘Because they’re afraid of flying off the handle.’

Joke on Halloween’s perk

Dead joke

 

This is by far one of the best Halloween jokes.

“Halloween is by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch.”

Halloween costumes joke

Ethnicity joke

“Maybe these weren’t the best choices for Halloween costumes.”

A ghost man: “I hope this ghost costume gets me lots of bags of candy.”  A fat man: “I hope this Karzai costume gets me lots of bags of cash!”

Jack O’Lanterns Joke

Two pumpkins

Pumkin to the other: “I’m not sure what all this Jack O’Lantern stuff is about, but I’ll be sure to have an open mind…”

Laboratory Joke

Spooky joke

“It was a dark and stormy night. The doctor had left the laboratory for the evening. Suddenly, their eyes met.” Aren’t Halloween Jokes hilarious? Well, duh.

Donut Costumes

Donut joke

 In a police department Halloween party, a man can be seen walking towards the house thinking, “Best costume, here I come!”

Though little did he know that he was about to be a donut with 70 others.

Scooby-Doo

Scooby joke

The caption says, “Why Scooby doo and the gang are seldom invited to Halloween parties.” Why so? Well the picture speaks for itself.

Love Triangle Joke

Triangle joke

“Oh, hi, honey! You’re home early…” And the panic mushrooms. #Oops?

Want A Lawyer joke

Halloween joke

An old man yelling over the mess, “Someone’s going to take the blame for this.” Conversely, an indicating voice came in saying, “I want a lawyer.”

Halloween Sweets

Trick or treat candy joke

This is an epic scene from Halloween where there is a catastrophe occurring due to many of the sweets being eaten.

Deep conversations between vampires

Vampire joke

Vampire#1: “Since I’m not completely dead, I can’t collect on my life insurance. And since I’m not completely alive, I can’t get health insurance.”

Vampire#2: “Sometimes being a vampire sucks.”

Vampire the nurse

Vampire and patient

Vampire the nurse: “Um, Hi. I’m here to suck your blood. But first I need you to fill out a short medical history, if you don’t mind.”

What A Witch

psx_20160929_211102

“Some of the neighbor’s kids actually look better in masks.”

Ghost Alert

Ghost joke

Ghost on the left: “Disturbing the peace. You?”

Ghost#2: “Possession.

Trick or treat joke

Trick or treat joke

The wife is talking to the husband over the arrival of little kids with sign boards that say, “Share the candy”, “Occupy your front steps.”

Conversely, she says, “The costumes aren’t much but at least they’re watching the news.”

Vampires And Ghosts do scare

Sale joke halloween

“Remember when we got candy instead of home-sale data sheets?”

Spooky News

Cemetery joke

Two ghosts in a cemetery can be seen reading and holding a newspaper that says, “spooky news.” Well wait, what could be more spooky than them?

Halloween costume ideas

Scariest halloween costume

We have 3 scary halloween costume ideas in the list. Conversely, we have the Witch, Frankenstein, and then we have a financial adviser. Which is the worst.

Witches fun joke

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On the falling down of a witch from her broomstick, the other which gives us a reason of why so. She says to the witch with her, “It’s her own fault, she was texting at the time.”

Wait, since when did witches start carrying cellphones? Or maybe that it’s 2016 and everything’s alright to be done.

Witches in a car

Witch in a car

The witches can be seen driving a car when the other abruptly states, “Automatic transmission is nice, but I still prefer driving a stick.”

Therapy session 101

Psychologist

This picture shows us that there is a ghost couple marking a visit to a clinical psychologist.

The angry female ghost seems to state, “I’ve had it! In the middle of the night he turns on the television, moves things from one place to another, and makes weird noises.”

Funny, nay? By the way, how did I realise who’s a female ghost? Well, simply look out for the most adorable eyelashes ever.

Vampire Attack

Vampire joke

There are two vampire’s paying on a woman walking from massage therapy. A vampire can be seen saying, “This is my favorite place to pick up women… Their necks are like butter!”

Once, there were 2 guys sitting in a living room. One man says to the other, “I would rather live with a vampire than my wife!” and the other man says “Why?”

He says, “Because she’s always trying to bite my head off!”

One Liner Halloween Jokes:

Now that you’re done reading comical jokes, saving your time at the same time, I have assembled numerous one liner Halloween Jokesinto listed categories to make your reading easier.

Simply scroll down and enjoy the questions and funny answers that will make you chuckle multitude times.

One Liner Jokes On Skeletons:

Scary skeleton

What do you call a skeleton that is always telling lies?

“A boney phoney.”

What happened to the boat that sank in the sea full of piranha fish?

“It came back with a skeleton crew!”

Why did the skeleton stay out in the snow all night?

“He was a numbskull.”

Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school?

“He was boning up for his exams.”

What happened when the skeletons rode pogo sticks?

“They had a rattling good time.”

How do skeletons call their friends?

“On the telebone.”

Why did the skeleton run up a tree?

“Because a dog was after his bones.”

How do skeletons get their mail?

“By bony express.”

What’s a skeleton’s favorite vegetable?

“Marrow!”

What is a skeleton?

“Somebody on a diet who forgot to say ‘when.'”

Why didn’t the skeleton want to play football?

“Because his heart wasn’t in it.”

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

“He had no body to go with.”

What’s a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument?

“A trom-bone!”

What do you call a skeleton who acts in Westerns?

“Skint Eastwood.”

What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long?

“He became bone dry.”

What do you call a skeleton doctor?

“Dr. Bones.”

What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?

“I love every bone in your body.”

What kind of plate does a skeleton eat off?

“Bone china.”

What do you do if you see a skeleton running across a road?

“Jump out of your skin and join him.”

Why are skeletons so calm?

“Because nothing gets under their skin!”

What do you call a skeleton who presses the door bell?

“A dead ringer.”

One Liner Jokes On Witches:

Witch

What do you call a witch who drives really badly?

“A road hag!”

What goes cackle, cackle, bonk, bonk?

“A witch laughing her head off.”

Why was the witch late for the party?

“She’d lost her witch-watch.”

What’s the best way of talking to a warty witch?

“By telephone!”

What goes cackle, cackle, boom?

“A witch in a minefield!”

What do you call a witches motor bike?

“A baaarrrrooooommm stick!”

What is black, old & ugly and has four wheels and is totally rad?

“A witch on a skateboard.”

Why won’t a witch wear a flat caps?

“Because there is no point in it.”

What do little witches do after school?

“Their gnomework.”

How do you make a witch itch?

“Take away the her ‘w'”

What do witches say when they overtake each other?

“Broom, broom, broom!”

What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph?

“A witch just hit by a high speed train.”

Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?

“She wanted a very clean sweep.”

What is a witches favourite hot drink?

“Tea-hee-hee!”

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

“To keep their hats pointed!”

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

“To keep their broomstick cutting edge.”

Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?

“That’s the time to go to sweep!”

How can you tell an Italian witch from an English one?

“By her suntan.”

What’s the different between a witch and a banker?

“The witch is only good at spelling.”

Have you heard about the good weather witch?

“She’s forecasting a few sunny spells!”

One Liner Jokes On Vampires:

Vampire fangs

 

How many Vampires does it take to change a light bulb?

“Zero, none of them needs it.”

What does a vampire dream of all the time?

“Something warm hot and juicy.”

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

“A vampire only sucks blood at night.”

Why did the vampire drive on the motorway?

“Someone told him it was a main artery.”

What do you call the referee in a Transylvanian soccer game?
“A Vumpire!”

What’s a vampire’s favourite music band?

“The Vaults.”

What did the vampire have for dessert last night?

“Whine & Ice scream.”

Why does vampire consider himself a good artist?

“Because he likes to draw blood!”

What sort of club would a vampire join?

“A blood group!”

Why did the vampire fall in love with his neighbour?

“Because she was the ghoul necks door.”

What does the mail carrier take to vampires?

“Fang mail.”

What did the vampire say to it’s new apprentice?

“We could do with some new blood around here.”

What does a vampire take for a bad cold?

“Coffin drops.”

One Liner Jokes On Ghosts And Ghouls:

Ghosts

How did the glamorous ghoul earn her living?

“She was a cover ghoul.”

How do ghosts keep fit?

“By regular exorcise.”

What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?

“Scream or sugar.”

What did the ghost teacher say to her class?

“Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”

What did the guard at the haunted house say?

“Halt! Who ghost there?”

What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?

“Tombstones.”

How do ghosts learn songs?

“They read the sheet music.”

How do ghosts like their drinks?

“Ice ghoul.”

How do ghosts like their eggs cooked?

“Terri-fried.”

How do ghosts like to send their letters?

“Scare mail or parcel ghost.”

And this all comes to an end…

Final Note:

Hoping that you did enjoy all the jokes given above, and had a great laughter, I further hope you celebrate Halloween down to its core.

Always remember the significance of this event and promote future generations to acknowledge it as well.

Happy Halloween!

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